Top Carli Lloydisms: An Ode to Carli Lloyd ⋆ NLS

What is a Carli Lloydism?

First, to understand a Carli Lloydism, you’d have to understand what a Chuck Norrisism is. And, you have to know Carli Lloyd.

A Chuck Norrisism is based on an actor and martial artist born in 1940 named Chuck Norris. He became a cultural icon for having nerves of steel and never losing a fight. This seeming bravado led to many sayings, memes, and jokes being written about him such as “When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.“

So, a Carli Lloydism is really just a saying about Carli Lloyd that is an over exaggeration. It’s intended to be lighthearted but still grounded in some truth.

Why Carli Lloyd?

Carli Lloyd at the ESPYS — Image source: “140095_7777” by Walt Disney Television is licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0

First, why not!?! Second, she is such an inspirational person, both on and off the soccer field, for so many reasons:

She worked for every inch she got;
She has nerves of steel;
She worked out above and beyond what was expected by her teams;
She wrote a list down of every bad word written about her, kept it, read it over and over again, and still proved all those people wrong;
She did wind sprints (!!!) after a loss in the Tokyo Olympics. I don’t ever like to do wind sprints, and especially not after an emotional loss!
She kicked a 55-year field goal in an NFL practice!!!

Name any other athlete that is in beast mode. All. The. Time.

I, for one, thought the best way to honor her would be to recognize her for the legend that she truly is.

Top Carli Lloydisms to Celebrate Carli Lloyd

If soccer is life, then Carli Lloyd gave it birth.
Carli Lloyd kicks it where it counts.
The only thing bigger than soccer is Carli Lloyd.
If your team has 3 goals and Carli Lloyd’s team has 3 goals, she still wins.
Sweat doesn’t make the green grass grow. Carli Lloyd tells the grass when to grow.
Respect all, fear Lloyd.
Carli Lloyd is so amazing that they had to add another L to her name.
Lloyd’s blood, Lloyd’s sweat, your tears.
Carli Lloyd’s warm-up is your workout.
No matter who stands before her, Carli Lloyd will be the only one standing in the end.
Carli Lloyd breaks ankles, not hearts.
If you’re not playing with all your heart, someone else is. And when you meet Lloyd, she’ll win.
Carli Lloyd doesn’t score goals in the back of the net, the net moves for her ball.
Goalkeepers retire when they see Carli Lloyd on the pitch.
Your pain is Carli Lloyd’s gain.
Carli Lloyd never lost a game. She let you win.
Carli Lloyd should come with a warning label.
Most center backs can’t remember what happened when they first met Carli Lloyd, but they keep trying.
Carli Lloyd travels faster than sound, which is why you don’t hear her coming.
If your jersey is clean, you didn’t play Carli Lloyd.
Carli Lloyd only retired to give someone else a chance to become a champion.
Carli Lloyd taught Pelé how to score goals.
Trying to defend Carli Lloyd is like trying to light a match under water.
Life is hard; Carli Lloyd’s biceps are harder.
Better to remain on the bench and have others think you’re scared of Carli Lloyd then to play and remove all doubt.
Carli Lloyd can kick farther than your NFL kicker.
Carli Lloyd invented Beast Mode.